


death doesn't have a heart

by undercovercarisi



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Andrew mourns, Illness, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Memories, Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 10:02:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15140708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undercovercarisi/pseuds/undercovercarisi
Summary: "Andrew sat in the back of the Maserati, Neil’s laughter mixing with the engine. His smile was seen in the curve of the road. His auburn hair mixed with the auburn leaves that fell across the ground."Neil dies and Andrew is left with only the memory of what there once was.





	death doesn't have a heart

Andrew stood in the middle of the court, holding a jersey that wasn’t his. The Jersey was annoyingly orange with the word JOSTEN embroidered into the back. Andrew clutched it tight enough that his knuckles turned white. He pressed the jersey up to his face, tears finally dropping down his face.

These tears would never be seen by anyone. He wouldn’t tell Bee tomorrow morning that he cried into the jersey of his dead boyfriend.

After years of saying this was nothing, boyfriend felt weird on his tongue. After years of promising to protect Neil, dead felt weird on his tongue too. 

The stadium lights bared down on Andrew. This had been Neil’s home. This was his escape. He’d never know the rush of being on the court again. Andrew would never see that smile after they won again.

Neil Josten was dead; whether Andrew Minyard wanted to admit it or not.

Neil Josten had survived a killer who wanted him dead. He had the scars to prove it. He had survived so much only to die from an illness that couldn’t be cured. Cancer had taken the body of a man too young to die. Neil had so much ahead of him, more than he could ever have imagined.

The Palmetto Stadium was home. It was the safe house for the foxes. Neil was willing to die for this team, but he was willing to keep on living for Andrew.

That’s why he had spent his last few years suffering. He wasn’t ready to leave. He wanted to stay for Andrew. He didn’t want Andrew to do this alone. Andrew had called him a junkie and held him tighter that night. That was two years ago when Neil had come home with his diagnosis. Andrew had cried silently that night, not wanting Neil to see his tears. Andrew had gone soft in these past few years. He had settled and calmed and became domestic with Neil.

Their apartment had been abandoned two weeks ago when Neil had been admitted to the hospital. Andrew had run back and forth to make sure the cats were okay and pick up Neil’s suit the day before his funeral. Andrew had yet to go there today, instead opting to lay in the maserati until the sun had come up this morning.

The sound of shoes echoing outside the door into the court tore Andrew from his thoughts. Kevin stood in the doorway, Nicky and Aaron behind him. The twins had put aside their difference for this. Ever since Neil had gotten sick, Aaron couldn’t bring himself to keep up their petty fights. He was always on hand for Andrew. Also, being medically trained helped him realize what Andrew was going through. He knew how bad this could be.

Andrew sniffled and wiped his eyes on the sleeves of his suit jacket. He wouldn’t let anyone see his tears. Nicky approached quietly, carefully resting a hand on Andrew’s shoulder. He didn’t have the heart to push it off.

“It’ll be okay.” Nicky whispered softly.

Andrew knew all the foxes were feeling the pain that came with a death. Everyone had been full of mourning. They were all staying on hand for Andrew. They knew what Neil meant to him, whether or not he’d admit that to them. Nicky gave his arm a small squeeze and moved. Andrew looked at Aaron who gave a small head nod. Kevin stood emotionless, staring Andrew down. 

“Let’s go home.” Kevin said quietly.

Andrew nodded and moved from his spot. He walked towards the back of the group, Nicky leading them with Aaron. Kevin and Andrew paused at the door, Andrew’s hands on the light switch. Andrew flicked the light switch, watching the fluorescent lights flicker to darkness. It reminded Andrew of watching the light flick out of Neil’s eyes as he died. The lights would only shine as long as Neil. The foxhole court would never shine as bright as it did with Neil Josten on the court. He would never stand on this court again; not for a college reunion or for a game. Neil Josten was gone. The lights were like his life; bright and shining now diminished. 

Andrew looked down at the orange jersey clutched in his other hand.

The world would still turn. The stadium would still stand. The exy fans would mourn the loss of their star player. The foxes would mourn the loss of their friend. Andrew would cry tears that would never be seen. But they would survive.

They were the survivors when they didn’t deserve to be, in Andrew’s eyes. It should’ve been anyone else. But it was Neil. The world wasn’t fair. Andrew had learned that much sooner than he should’ve when he was younger.

Andrew sat in the back of the maserati, Neil’s laughter mixing with the engine. His smile was seen in the curve of the road. His auburn hair mixed with the auburn leaves that fell across the ground. 

As they pulled up at the apartment, Andrew slowly got out. Instead of leaving Andrew in silence, Nicky, Aaron and Kevin all pushed their way into the house with him. Everything was left undisturbed.

The cat started to wind themselves into the legs of the guests but hesitated when realizing that Neil wasn’t there. Neil was always there. He always came with treats and scooped them up to give obnoxious kisses. But he was gone. Andrew just nudged them aside and went to the kitchen.

Andrew sank into the couch on his unofficial side. The three guests had went to the kitchen to make something. He stared at the TV, staring at the black screen as if it would magically turn on some stupid TV show Neil had become addicted to. The coffee table held keys to Neil’s car, the house, and their columbia home. Neil’s phone laid next to them undisturbed. When in the hospital, he hadn’t even asked for it. It was dead by now. It held only the memory of Neil and their life together. Andrew got up, tossing the jersey to the coffee table. He stepped into the kitchen.

On their windowsills and table sat an abundance of flowers. They had come from friends who had heard of what happened. Most of them were wilting from Andrew’s abandonment. Cheap supermarket flowers would do that. Andrew met Aaron’s eyes, giving him a firm unwavering look.

“I’m going to lay down.” Andrew mumbled as he turned to leave. 

“We’ll stay.” Aaron said firmly, leaving Andrew unchallenged.

Andrew gave a nod before heading to his bedroom. He stripped out of the suit and slid on a pair of Neil’s sweatpants and laid in his bed, leaving the armbands on despite his usual itch to take them off by the time they were laying in bed. The cats pounced onto the bed and curled onto Neil’s pillow next to Andrew’s head. Andrew picked up his phone and dialed Neil’s number. He listened to the ring before the voicemail clicked into place.

“Hey it’s Neil. Sorry I missed your call, I’ll call you back!” The voicemail chirped at him. 

Andrew hung up and set his phone down on the table. He stared at the wall, waiting until sleep took him over.

He dreamed of his auburn haired pipe dream.


End file.
